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Wedding Invitations

Such a simple piece of paper,  yet so complicated. Where does one begin with the wedding invitation?  The style, the words, the shopping... it can all be rather daunting. However, with a little planning  and the proper know-how, you'll get your hands on the perfect invites to set the stage for your wedding. After all, it is often the first thing that your guests will see, besides perhaps, the save-the-dates.  Follow this guide to the four Ws of wedding invitations. Also be sure to see the guide to Wedding Invitation Wording.

What should they look like?

When considering which type of invitations to buy, remember that you have more than just the invites to consider. There are also save-the-dates,  ceremony programs,  escort cards, table cards,  place cards,  menu cards, and thank you notes.  This is not to say that you must have all of these items. However, regardless of the number of stationery  items you require for your needs, you will want them to have some form of continuity between them. Ordering them all at once is a great way of keeping everything in synch and saving money.

Style

The most typical way of choosing a style for your stationery  is to base it off of the wedding style, since that is, of course, what wedding planning  is all about. It can be formal, casual, quirky, or simply traditional. Traditionally, formal invitations are in ecru, white, or ivory and are made of either heavy card stock or 100% cotton or linen paper. Nonetheless, how often have you seen ribbon, bows, white, ivory, or ecru papers with same old scripted text? When was the last time you said "Wow!" when receiving someone's invitation? Adding new twists to the traditional invite will make guests remember your event forever and not throw away the card after the event. These are unique invitations based on wedding colors, themes, or decorations used throughout the wedding so that they stand out from the rest of the boring cards -- they are all about innovation. Plan ahead though -- making an invitation reflect your personal style that'll stand out is as challenging as shopping for new clothes, or decorating a house.

Lettering

As for the lettering, black or gray engraving is traditional. It is also the most expensive method of lettering. For those without a lot of money to spare, thermography is the traditional alternative. Calligraphy is another option if you have a small guest list. Finally, offset printing is a method used for colored text and for lettering on heavily textures card stock.

Parts of the Invitation

When it comes to the physical lay out of the invitations, there are various parts to consider. There is the outer envelope and the inner envelope. Why two envelopes?  In the old days of royalty when mail was delivered by hand, the outer envelope would become soiled, so upon arrival the mail courier would remove the second envelope and hand to the guest in perfect condition. These days, the postal service has things pretty well under control. So, the bottom line is only have two if you want to follow tradition and scrap the second envelope if you'd rather not waste paper and spend the extra money. Another thing to remember with envelopes,  is that you should always order extras in case of mistakes! Don't forget that they should be addressed by hand or sent to the calligrapher!

The invitation will include the details for the ceremony and the reception card will tell where the reception is being held (if it's a separate location than the ceremony site). You also need to include a reply card. You can choose to do this as a card with an envelope, or as a postcard (the less expensive method). Either way -- and this is important -- the RSVP card  should be self-addressed and include a stamp!  Many couples have forgotten the stamp and this is a major faux-pas, not to mention, quite thoughtless. Basically, it will include the guests name, the RSVP deadline, and how many people will be coming. You might also list any food options that you'll have available, such as vegetarian,  gluten-free,  kosher,  or halal possibilities. By checking off a box or filling in a spot on the card you can get an idea of what you'll need to have the caterer prepare. Finally, if you have an itinerary for a weekend wedding, include some of the activities that you might have so you can see who would be interested in what.

Finally, you might consider including maps,  directions, hotel info, and an itinerary if needed. Something that you shouldn't include? Gift registry information. This is considered in very bad taste to include! People will ask about the registry, don't worry.

Who do you send them to?

You've made the guest list, right? well, if you are doubting sending an invite to someone, think hard about it. Despite the fact that 10 to 20 percent of people decline, you still don't want to invite someone who you'd rather not have at your wedding. Those who you thought of, but who you can't or don't want to invite, can get a wedding announcement after the wedding has taken place.

The number of invitations you need depends partially on how many guests you invite. "Partially" because you have to remember that some guests live together, whether they are family, dating, or married. Children under 18 usually don't need their own invitations either unless they don't live with the parents. A quick way of determining the number of invites you'll need is to simply divide the number of guests you're having (especially if the number is large). If you need more, you can always order more. Don't forget to keep one for yourselves.

When do you send them?

Order in advance! It takes time to order, see a sample, check the wording, send the proof back, and then have them printed and sent to you. It also takes additional time to have a calligrapher address the envelopes (up to two weeks or more for 100 envelopes). Usually three to four months is sufficient time to give yourself for ordering invitations.

If you have guests coming from out of town, or if you are having a destination wedding, you might be in need of save-the-dates. Otherwise, allow a minimum of ten weeks to send to out-of-towners. Six to eight weeks prior notice is average for all other guests.

Where do you get them?

There are many places to go to when shopping for wedding invitations. You can even do it yourself! Don't just assume though that this will be the least expensive method, since you will spend time working on the design and money on the paper and printing. However, the invited will be truly one of a kind. Less labor intense options call for hiring someone else to take care of the dirty work.

  • Graphic Designer -- Artistic friends who just happen to be pros are a great gift. That's not to say that asking them to do your wedding invites constitutes their gift to you. Most likely you will have to pay them and the printer. On the other hand, you will have as much creative license as if you were doing the invitations yourself, except they'll probably look better.
  • Independent Stationer -- Small stationery vendors can often create unique invitations and stationery with formal engraving and other specialties, but for a little bit more money. That is what you pay for quality and originality all in one place. Just keep in mind that the time is takes a small shop to create custom stationery is usually longer than it would take a big department store or other more generic entity to make and print your invitations.
  • Large Stationers -- Big stores will be able to provide you with attractive invitations and stationery at a very reasonable price. However, the catch comes when you start asking for special order items. This will up the cost and may take longer. The norm in these big places is to peruse a large catalog -- or the shelves for that matter -- and pick your favorite.
  • Department Store -- While you're in Bergdorf Goodman creating your gift registry you might as well get your wedding invitations. Yes, it's true: one stop shopping does it all. Plus, department stores cater to the traditionally-minded, offering high-end stationery. This is a great option if you are planning a formal wedding with all the trimmings.
  • Online Store -- There is nothing quite as simple as ordering online. With a few clicks you'll choose and order your stationery, even while sitting in your robe and drinking coffee. Most will offer everything that any stationery store will, plus they can do special orders, engraving, and just about anything else you could want. Just make sure to get samples first! If you care about quality you'll want to see and feel the invitations before committing. Even if the company charges a fee, suck it up and do it. Most often they refund that money anyway. When checking your proofs, be very certain that you have written the text correctly. Sites will print whatever you give them even if you have made a huge mistake. Finally, be careful that the site is a reputable one.

Why does wording matter?

Proper wording is key. See the article on Wedding Invitation Wording for more information about wording or check out one of the sites below that feature samples of invitation wording to use in just about any circumstance.

Top Manufacturers Web sites

Related Guides

Save-the-Dates

Thank You Cards

Ceremony Programs

Place and Table Cards

Hiring a Calligrapher